In the hollow of your arms, snuggled up all safe and warn, you used to tell me tales of unicorns and kings. But how could I comprehend all the things you told me then of your madness and your struggling?
And my mind would swim in fantasies, like a piece of driftwood in the sea. I had no touchstone for reality. You were my reality.
Like a dark and unlit room or the far side of the moon, your insanity spoke emptiness and fear. And no matter how I tried, how I questioned and I pried, I just could not penetrate that thin veneer.
And I know you tried to comfort me, to soothe and reassure me. But then your strength would always fail and in it's place a silken veil.
Like a dried and wrinkled prune, A deflated toy balloon, I cam home and found you strewn across the floor. And as they lay you on your bed I heard you say, "If I a dead, how come it just keeps on hurting more and more?"
And you left me in the early spring. All they said was, "Mommy's resting." And how was I to know, so young, it wasn't something I had done?
So please try and understand, I will love you as I can. I do not blame you; you're not guilty. But still there's no way to describe the relief I finally found upon learning it was you, and not me, that was crazy.
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