cabin pressure 02/02 - Boston | Текст песни

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• cabin pressure 02/02
• Boston

ARTHUR: Yes, actually! White Fang! Twice! Anyway, bringing my people reading skills to the table, I’m able to reveal to you now that Mr. Lehman didn’t show any of the five indicators of true resolve to change his behavior patterns, and therefore, in a nutshell, I reckon he might smoke in the loo again.

MARTIN: Listen carefully, Arthur, he definitely won’t. And therefore, if the smoke alarm does go off again, it can only be a real fire. And so I’m authorizing you, in that unlikely event, not to waste time knocking, just to override the door lock and immediately discharge the fire extinguisher into any flame you see.

ARTHUR: Ahhh, any flame I see.

MARTIN: That’s right. Even if it’s just a little tiny, glow-y one.

ARTHUR: Aye, aye, Skipper.

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ARTHUR: [whispers] Okay, he’s up.

[MR. LEHMAN humming]

ARTHUR: He’s on the move.

[Door opens and closes as MR. LEHMAN enters loo]

ARTHUR: Okay, he’s in.

MARTIN: Okay, Arthur, standby.

ARTHUR: Okay.

MARTIN: Standby.

[Alarm beeps]

MARTIN: [very fake] Oh, no! Emergency! Emergency! The plane is on fire! Arthur, for the love of God, save us all!

ARTHUR: Yes, Skipper!

[Door opens]

MR. LEHMAN: Hey! What the –

ARTHUR: Fiiire!

MR. LEHMAN: Wha – Ahhh! Oh – dahhh! Oh! Oh, God, oh, my chest, oh, ahh –

[Thud heard as MR. LEHMAN collapses]

ARTHUR: Fire’s out.

[Bing-bong]

MARTIN: Good evening. This is Captain Crieff speaking. I’m sorry to have to tell you, a passenger has been taken ill, so if there is anyone with medical training on board, could they please come to the flight deck door. Thank you.

[Door opens]

DOUGLAS: Okay, we’ve moved him to the galley.

MARTIN: How’s he looking?

DOUGLAS: Well, he’s covered in foam and he’s had a heart attack. Otherwise, great.

MARTIN: [sighs] I – I was just thinking, maybe we ought to turn the plane round.

DOUGLAS: Well, yes, of course, we should! Haven’t you done it yet?

MARTIN: Oh, right, right, because on the other hand, obviously, Carolyn’s not going to like it much.

DOUGLAS: Martin, that’s irrelevant. It’s a serious medical emergency. You ditch into the nearest airfield, and we’re what… twenty minutes off midway, so forty minutes closer to home. There’s no question we have to turn round is the decision I imagine you have come to, Captain.

MARTIN: Yes, it is, exactly.

[Beeps]

MARTIN: Shanwick, this is Golf Echo Romeo Tango India. We have a serious passenger medical emergency and wish to return as soon as possible.

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL: Roger, Golf Tango India. Standby. I’ll coordinate.

MARTIN: Okay. Carolyn will understand, won’t she? I mean, a life’s at stake. I’m sure I saw a doctor on the load sheet. Here we are! 7A. Dr. Thomas Price. Where is he?

DOUGLAS: Lying low, I should think.

MARTIN: What? Why?

DOUGLAS: Too scared of being sued.

MARTIN: You’re joking.

DOUGLAS: No. Especially going to America. If he tries to treat him and anything goes wrong, he’s looking at a huge malpractice suit.

MARTIN: But surely no one will sue someone for trying to save their life!

DOUGLAS: Let’s face it. If anyone would, Mr. Lehman would.

MARTIN: Go and have a quick look at him for me, would you?

[Silence]

MARTIN: [sighs] Simon says, ‘go and have a quick look at him for me, would you?’

DOUGLAS: Then Simon shall be obeyed.

[Door closes]

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL: Golf Tango India, very little traffic on your track this evening. Maintain three-three-zero, turn right to Reykjavik, and when in range, contact Iceland, one-one-eight-decimal-zero-five.

MARTIN: Oh, Reykjavik. Really? I was thinking we could just go back home.

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL: Well, Reykjavik’s much closer. I thought you said it was a medical emergency.

MARTIN: Okay, right, yeah. Roger